Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
