About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
