i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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