What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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