whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
