Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
