Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
