My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
