Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
