i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just high enough for therapy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
