We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize