So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
