How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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