Michael Bay diarrhea
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
