You surviving the open bar?
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What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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