this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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