you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize