so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
