Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
