at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
