dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
