I just cut my nipple shaving
My pussy is not your playground.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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