I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
