If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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