i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
