careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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