So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
