He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
false alarm, still single
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
