Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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