Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
