apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
