If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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