you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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