It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
