.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
