I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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