I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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