they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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