dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
