Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
