What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize