I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize