she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
