Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
