That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
