Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Success! We fucked roommates!
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