shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
