It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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