how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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