The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
