He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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