playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
