I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
