4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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