Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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