Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
