I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
