I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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