Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
