you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
