Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
