Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
