I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Randomize
