so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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