she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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