Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
