we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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